Honesty is always the best solution to all your problems, so choose wisely! In time, this conflicting mood can really affect your well-being, causing you more problems. … When you lie to yourself, you falsify reality to serve your vices. By being told to be ourselves we actually come to believe that the thoughts we think are actually a representation of who we are. Self-deceit is a defense mechanism for bad behavior. Cognitive dissonance is feverishly at work. Do you know any other reasons why lying is bad for your self-esteem? Repeatedly ask yourself: why do I do the things I do? If you are an anxious, angry bundle of nerves, you will manifest this reality in both directions — internal and external. Realizing how often we lie to ourselves carries the potential of shattering this myth. You suppose that these physical circumstances constitute the problem itself. From there, you will unlock a vast inner dialogue that is ruthlessly honest but helpful — and maybe even, in the long run, healing. A habit of lying is also a massive culprit of people wandering around life in a muddied state of confusion. Losing people’s trust. We have a very visceral relationship with lying. But is it?? Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, you’ve realized you cannot escape self-consciousness and, thus, you’re painfully aware of your own complicity in tarnishing something — in this case, truth. (Maybe we continue to stay stubbornly glued to a “safe” path in life that is not what we really want. Why do we lie? Truth is gold and lies are cheap. ), We lie to ourselves when we are not honest about our authentic desires. You will save yourself a world of pain if you are able to come clean about your motivations for things or, alternatively, to recognize your true wishes. Simply put, the overarching reason that we lie to ourselves is self-protection. That is: sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good. While being a kid we have all been taught that we should not be lying and lying is not good. We even lie to ourselves when we latch onto judgmental stereotypes or refuse to see past our rigid, initial first-impressions; or when we refuse to hear what another person is saying and instead, stay stubbornly wed to our own fixed narrative of things. Being trustworthy is an important character trait, both for you and for the people around you. Lying to yourself is a deep betrayal though, as if you spend a lot of time convincing yourself you're someone other than who you truly feel yourself to be inside, then life is going to be much tougher for you than it needs to be. Humans have always had to fight against the natural pull towards expedience. I could not answer. Stopping the lies to yourself can be an enormously cathartic experience if you're willing to give it a go. Because of this, conflict may arise between people. Sometimes the lie is temporary. In an effort to preserve a certain level of functioning in the world, we resort to avoiding truths that might make us question ourselves. Sources: forbes.com, lifehacker.com, parentingteens.about.com, en.amerikanki.com. Each time you find yourself denying certain things you may not have done very well or lying to yourself about how fantastically something has gone, stop. We are all masters of self-deception. Lying creates inner conflict, it makes you second guess yourself and it can even make you doubt your abilities. Here are some quotes about lying to yourself … Remembering your lies. Sometimes we immediately know we are lying to ourselves, sometimes we won't admit it until faced with the truth. Being honest can sometimes make you look “bad” or like a “bad person.” However, you don’t have to lie to yourself. If the benefits to yourself outweigh the costs to the other, the lie is likely better off untold. Lying is never a good decision; it can cost you money, friends and in the long term, it can seriously affect your well-being. Applying insights from cognitive science and social epistemology to everyday opinion-forming, Writer of economics, psychology, and lots in between. A friend asked me: Is morality is objective? You can never escape your own falsehoods and their consequences precisely because you can never escape yourself. Above all, you shouldn’t lie to yourself because you are all you have: you should aim to be your own bastion of truth as much as you can manage. And we come to hate the lies — as well we should. But that still doesn’t mean that’s it good for you. Thus, in an act of seeming cruelty, your conscience wants you to be continually bothered by your own inauthenticity. I find it odd that not only are people lying to others saying that they have everything, but they seem to believe what they are saying. But seeing the net effect of a habit of internal lying is something we are blinded to as well. It takes time, practice, patience, and some kindness towards yourself. You are lying to yourself when: You try really hard to fit yourself into a mold that hurts. Let's go over them one last time, and I will let you decide for yourself. Maybe you’re lying to yourself about who you are and what you want. Maybe anxiety keeps you up at night, prompts you to leap out of bed, haggard and yet restless, hopelessly fixated on the idea that something is wrong. Lying, when it harms a relationship and/or someone else (emotionally, physically, materially) is bad. One of the most common reasons why lying is bad is precisely the fact that it breaks down trust. We usually don’t subject ourselves to the same unsympathetic suspicion that we direct to those whom we suspect may be feeding us a lie. As people, we naturally have a desire to feel intact and coherent. Or say you suffer from fatigue and insomnia. Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. Humans have learned to use the practice of lying to become better manipulators, become more successful, and become seemingly superior. But the most interesting thing about this is that you’re actually aware of your own inauthenticity. This is hardly the truth and it can often lead to lies. We lie because we are afraid, we feel inadequate, or we feel ashamed. Suddenly, you’re doing some run-of-the-mill task and, before you know it, tears are streaming down your face and it’s all a giant mystery to you. (Have you noticed that lies are something you must actively create and articulate? It’s a hard task. You may have difficulty distinguishing what you really want from what you don’t. Weigh these factors carefully before you risk telling a lie, no matter how “harmless” it may seem. Lying to yourself keeps you small and keeps you in situations much longer than you need to be. If you tell somebody a lie, you have to be able to... 2. By being honest and telling the truth, no matter how hard it will be for you to do it, you will decrease your stress levels, and thus you will feel calmer and more relaxed. Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section! If you lie and you are successful, you are simply depriving yourself of feelings of accomplishment. The price of it is self-respect that lets us stand tall, refreshed, and reassured by our own healthy honesty. They will appreciate you more and they will value your opinion. So, people lie to themselves hoping to avoid disruption and to maintain functioning. However, in a feat of irony, lying, which we turn our noses up at and brandish as contemptible in the external sphere is the very same sin that we are regularly guilty of committing to ourselves. Another category of lie is the other-oriented lie. Lying to yourself—or self-deception, as psychologists call it—can actually have benefits. 8 Reasons Why Lying Is a Bad Idea 1. Crucially, however, you cannot control the world, though you can control yourself. And here you are punishing yourself by not having the guts to stop with the lies and to listen to the truth. Why is this? All this said, lying in the “internal” sense (that is, to yourself) should not necessarily be taken as a sign that you’ve chosen to be hopelessly immoral or something similarly dire. Usually, lying is a symptom of a bigger problem. We often lie to please ourselves. Because you become delusional while failing to achieve anything you can be proud of. We are innately driven to distinguish truth from lies. And that, in contrast, the truth already exists as something you must attend to?). It’s fake and toxic and not helping me, seems to be the refrain. Self-deceit allows us to behave as we like, anytime, anywhere and avoids the guilt that usually comes with bad behavior. Self-respect is the backbone of healthy individuals (and societies, for that matter). Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Do you usually lie? And, naturally, if you lie to yourself on a routine basis, you will feel very inauthentic. As young children, finger-wagging parents and social norms refined by millennia seared it into our consciences that lying is a sin of the worst sort. Learn more, Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Luckily, if we are tempted to lie, the looming threat of social ostracism naturally helps to keep us in line.Thus, to lie in the outside world is a no-brainer bad idea. However, you continue to eat bad food and avoid the gym. People deceive themselves to feel better about their situation, to justify their bad behavior or simply to fit in. Even in this case, lying may seem like the only option, but if you lie, that leaves something on your mind that he or she doesn't know, and that can really put a toll on a relationship. Peace is not false stasis but instead, the calm after the storm (the storm, of course, is facing the truth). That said, the social consequences of lying are not light. Perhaps this is you. In many ways, we’ve always known this without being explicitly told this. Here are a few very obvious reasons why lying is bad for your self-esteem that you should consider, especially if your goal is to live a happy, meaningful and fulfilled life: One of the most common reasons why lying is bad is precisely the fact that it breaks down trust. Here are a few reasons why: It’s comfortable – you don’t have to face the hard truth; It’s convenient – you can keep doing the same thing without having to change anything; It makes you feel better about yourself (preserves self-esteem) It’s expedient. Words take on the meaning that suits me best. laurennreiff@gmail.com. It belongs in the category of lying to other people — as something morally suspect that corrodes our character. All this said, there is something dangerous in continuing the path of lying to yourself, as it’s truly not an innocuous habit. As an another example, sudden outbursts of emotional volatility that seem to spring from some irrational part of yourself usually point to an inner tug-of-war between truth and lies. And that’s hard to come by. How good do you think your memory is? Here is your short paragraph on Why Lying is Bad ! What we don’t realize is that with enough starvation from the truth, this perceived balance will start quaking because we won’t allow ourselves to fully get away with it. Even though you may at first think that you will get rid of some of your problems by lying, you might end up in more trouble than you would have been if you had told the truth in the first place. Now please don’t take this as encouragement to go out there and lie your way through life to get what you want, but in … Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Lie Here's to telling the truth — especially to kids. It can be seen as a perfectly understandable strategy for coping with life that makes sense in the context of our own human motivations to want to maintain composure (even if it is false). Sometimes, when you refuse to be brutally truthful about your feelings, thoughts, desires, and shortcomings, your body literally revolts in a dizzying display of attention-getting designed to alert you to what’s happening psychologically. We believe that if we were different somehow or if we were right for doing the wrong things we did our lives would be better. Lying is wrong for many reasons. This behavior actually affects their choices, impacts their happiness and damages their self-esteem. Playing with the meaning of words is a way in which you lie to yourself in order to support beliefs that have no foundation. Because the consequences of telling lies to ourselves are as follows: Above all, refusing to lie to yourself results in the kind of self-respect and peace in your own authenticity that makes anxiety evaporate. Indeed, lying will not make your problems go away, it will only make them worse. We have to alter our inner narratives, question our instinctive rationalizations, and subject ourselves to more forthright scrutiny. The truth of the matter is that we lie to ourselves all the time! To me there are three reasons: First, the most obvious reason is that lying is not a nice thing to do. If you’ve ever heard of the term, “fake it til you make it,” lying to yourself can actually make you feel better. You are your own safe space in so many ways, so there is no need to have a guard up around yourself. ... some lies can be good and others can be bad, depending on their outcomes. You feel anxious all the time. You can rest in the knowledge that you have done your proper duty — you have eschewed telling yourself lies in favor of listening to the truth. Despite this seemingly damning moral critique, the reason we pluck from a basket of easy lies instead of being honest with ourselves (and perhaps seeing what could be an ugly, unsightly truth) is, again, because we hunger after equilibrium. From childhood especially, we retain memories of the hot flush of shame we experienced in response to the taunt of others — “liar!” This was no doubt followed by a wash of angry defensiveness as we leaped into action to justify ourselves. Because of this, conflict may arise between people. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. (But really, it’s trying to save you — to rattle you enough that you will listen to yourself for once.). It is a bad idea to lie to yourself,yes indeed lying to youself is really a stupid thing that one can ever do.lying to yourself is like lying to omeneone who knows the truth even more than you,it is like trying to convince them with something that is not true of which they already know the truth because no one knows you better than yourself. We constantly lie to ourselves into believing things that are not true or not believing those that are true. Before going, don’t miss: How To Deal With Liars. Or that might make us reevaluate the whole of our life choices, humble ourselves, or otherwise bruise our egos. A bad reputation. 8 Amazing Reasons to Write down Your Grandparents Stories ... 9 Inspirational Quotes to Help Build Your Self-Esteem ... 7 Reasons Why People Cheat on Their Partners Even when Everything Seems Perfect ... 7 Quite Surprising Reasons Why Your Kids Lie to You ... lying will not make your problems go away, you are deprived of feelings of accomplishment.