*/. With thanks and gratitude for the good fortune to reach this important day: I Feel Then a Tear: A Prayer in the Eyes of a Queer Man, לֹא הַמֵּתִים, יְהַלְלוּ-יָהּ;    וְלֹא, כָּל-יֹרְדֵי דוּמָה, וַאֲנַחְנוּ, נְבָרֵךְ יָהּ--    מֵעַתָּה וְעַד-עוֹלָם, יְהוָה אֱלֹהָי--    שִׁוַּעְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ, וַתִּרְפָּאֵנִי, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים, מַלְבִּישׁ עֲרֻמִים, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם הַמַּעֲבִיר אֶת הָעוֹבְרִים, (Hebrew and English from Rabbi Elliott Rose Kukla), בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָפֶן, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמָן הַזֶּה. We Chose Love with a Full Moon Ritual. This Tu B'Av ritual, created by Tamara Cohen and Rabbi Jill Hammer, is also appropriate for Rosh Chodesh Av, or for a Rosh Chodesh group that wants to celebrate later in the month. THE DAY OF LOVE Yesterday, we commemorated and celebrated Tu B’Av – the 15th day of the month of Av. The day of romance is often celebrated through giving flowers to loved ones, singing, dancing, and — like all Jewish holidays — studying. Tu B'Av's history includes matchmaking, dancing, and the celebration of the promise of … anything that might revive my spirit..". Tisha B'Av (Hebrew: תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב ‎ Tīšʿā Bəʾāv; IPA: [tiʃʕa beˈʔav] (), lit. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. Some young women, those with more economic privilege, were seen, in their time period, as having better prospects for marriage. The women … Blessed are You, Eternal One, Our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine. The holiday is observed on the 15th (tu) of the Hebrew month of Shvat.Scholars believe that originally Tu BiShvat was an agricultural festival, marking the emergence of spring. It is celebrated on the 15th day of the month of Av. Tu BiShvat or the "New Year of the Trees" is Jewish Arbor Day. Ritual for the Grape Harvest. Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! The facilitator then introduces the next section of the ritual: five minutes of free writing during which everyone is invited to explore her experiences of loss of love during the past year. Tu B'Av appears on the calendar between the communal mourning of Tisha B'Av, when we mark the destruction of the Temple, and the personal spiritual accounting of the High Holiday season. We have just completed Tisha B'Av, when the book of Lamentations is read. While Tisha B'Av commemorates communal tragedies, one of the voices of the Book of Lamentations is that of a woman whose powerful words express many levels of individual loss. Tu B'Av does not have many established religious rituals associated with its celebration. The facilitator can ask everyone to think of as many positive words associated with love as they can and invite everyone to share by completing the phrase "Love is...". because far from me is a comforter Like the Israelites who stood at the base of Mount, [Ritual Leader invites the transitioning individual(s) to join hi/er to speak about hi/er journey to transition, if desired. On this day, the sisters share their joy with one another and all creatures. The common explanation given for this custom is that it serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple. A Rosh Chodesh ritual that draws on Tu B'Av's traditional association with the celebration of women and love to honor communally the love and losses that shape so much of our experiences of any given year more Tags: Tamara Cohen, Rabbi Jill Hammer It is a door opening from death back into life. Mourning the destruction of both temples, as well as a number of other Jewish tragedies. This holiday is in stark contrast to Tisha B’Av, which was celebrated just one week earlier. The facilitator can then invite everyone to lift the plant into the pot and packs soil around it. The tallit can be held over everyone and, if desirable, the group can recite shehechiyanu, the prayer over a happy occasion. Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. It correlates with the grape harvest in which single women would dress in white and dance in the vineyards under the full moon to signify their readiness for marriage. 7 Ways to Celebrate Tu B’Av, the Jewish Day of Love ... Tu B’Av is not... Love, Other Holidays, Other Holidays Rituals, Relationships, Tu B'Av. It is a door opening from death back into life. As we watch with despair the news from Israel/Palestine, we invite you to join us for an event that will offer some hope. Let us recite them together now, allowing this ancient poetry to evoke in us any feelings of loss we have experienced over the past year. As someone selects a gift she should say what blessings or dreams of love she wishes for in the coming year. On other days it is the Maiden who leaps on the hills and runs circles in the orchards, but on this day all the sisters come to the vineyards of Shiloh to celebrate. Grapes, in Jewish life, are the symbol of the sacred spiral of time, for they are made into wine, and wine is … Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force 202.332.6483 www.ngltf.org and The National Center for Lesbian Rights 415.392.6257 www.nclrights.org work to obtain marital rights for gay and lesbian couples, who cannot legally marry. Tu B’Av (the 15 th of the month of Av) arrives shortly after the mourning period that leads to Tishah B’Av, the date on which the First and Second Holy Temples were destroyed. The fifteenth of (the month of) Av. This ritual is intended for a group of friends, a women's group or a Rosh Chodesh group that feels comfortable sharing with one another. Ki rakhak mimmenni m'nakhem While Tu B'Av is a celebration of love, many of us need something more than just celebration – we also need a space in which we can acknowledge the complexities of love – where a mother can share both the joys and pains she has experienced in the process of planning the marriage of her daughter or a son, where a single woman can laugh and cry about her experiences of dating, where a happily divorced woman and long-time partnered lesbian and a single mother and a newly dating grandmother can share together some of the wonders and trials of love as they experience it, long for it, mourn it, relish it, question it, fear it, and embrace it. After the last participant has shared her loss and placed her word or object into the pot, the facilitator of the ritual should invite everyone to lie down, if space permits. For there is a reward for your labor", "Again you shall take up your drums and go forth to the rhythm of the dancers.". There have not been any specific rituals or customs associated with Tu B’Av in the past. Coming seven days after Tisha B’Av, Tu B’Av symbolically serves as the end of the shiva —the seven days of mourning for the dead. Tu BiShvat is not mentioned in the Torah Just as the mourner ends Recite together: Let us grow new lives out of our losses. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. Other Holidays Rituals, Shavuot. ... Tisha B'Av. Some Tu B’Av-specific ideas include: A moonlit stroll, visiting a … These things will be "swapped" so everyone will go home with something different than what they came with. We interweave your story with the story of our people, who, according to rabbinic legend (Lamentations Rabba, Prologue 13), would enact a ritual of death and rebirth each year for the 40 years when we wandered in the wilderness. The holiday's name actually means “the 15th of Av”. If there are more than six or seven people in the group, give everyone a time limit for speaking, and recite the Jeremiah verse once, after everyone has spoken. She presents, in her own words, some of the ideas expressed above about the purpose of this Tu B'Av ritual and add anything she wants about her own apprehension and expectations. They would choose spouses from among the men who came to dance with them. This inequality was symbolically redressed on Tu B'Av through the exchange of white clothes. This Tu B'Av ritual, created by Tamara Cohen and Rabbi Jill Hammer, is also appropriate for Rosh Chodesh Av, or for a Rosh Chodesh group that wants to celebrate later in the month. Tu B'Av, the fifteenth of the month of Av, is an ancient Jewish holiday when women would go out to the fields in borrowed white clothing and dance. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force 202.332.6483. When all have been gently roused and welcomed to their feet, the group should stand in a circle. “My soul, praise G-d. When 18Doors asked me to write a post for Tu B’Av, I have to admit, I had to do some research: Tu B’Av is not... Love , Other Holidays , Other Holidays Rituals , Relationships , Tu B'Av It is our hope that this ritual will present a new context for this kind of sharing, a context that will lead to a greater sense among Jewish women and feminists that there is room within Judaism for all of our experiences, and that there is healing in coming together to share our experiences. The moon is a knife under a pillow. Go on a date night with your love. Tu B’Av provides a contrast of joyous celebration following the ever-deepening gloom and mourning of the Three Weeks. Instead of or after a personal reflection, a friend or important person in the life of the transitioning individual may be invited to share a reading or a poem with the assembled group. Tisha B’Av Rituals and Practices. The facilitator thanks the group for coming and explains that the ritual has two basic parts, as it begins with mourning and moves toward dancing and celebration. Tu B’Av is a holiday of life, rebirth, and redemption. If the group is large, recite the verse once and ask everyone to rise at her own pace. August 16, 2016, by Rabbi Yossi Sarid. And we all mark the sanctity of this day with. It is a door opening from death back into life. The entry into this place is different from the miraculous coming out from Mitzrayim. We suggest that this late summer holiday is an ideal opportunity for ritualizing the sharing we have always done as women – the telling of some of the intimate joys and pains of our lives. In order to live our lives, we have had to find freedom, and often free our friends and family along with us, from narrow views of a G-d, and of a people created in G-d’s image as static and unchanging, male or female. The facilitator can explain that there is a tradition that explains, The facilitator can then invite everyone to lift the plant into the pot and packs soil around it. Tu B’Av – a day of rejoicing. Ritual for Tu b'Av 5764/Aug. However Tachanun is not said—either at mincha the day before or on the day itself—and a bride and groom traditionally do not fast if their wedding falls on Tu B'Av. The Mishnah relates that "The girls would go out in white clothes which they borrowed one from the other, in order not to embarrass girls who did not have white clothes." She can then slowly rise and recite, in Hebrew or English: מִנְעִי קוֹלֵךְ מִבֶּכִי, וְעֵינַיִךְ, מִדִּמְעָה:  כִּי יֵשׁ שָׂכָר לִפְעֻלָּתֵךְ, עוֹד תַּעְדִּי תֻפַּיִךְ, וְיָצָאת בִּמְחוֹל מְשַׂחֲקִים, Min'i kolekh mibbekhi Tu B’Av is said to be a great day for weddings, commitment ceremonies, renewal of vows, and marriage proposals. Ki yesh sakhar lif'ullatekh, Od taddi tuppayikh By Kelly Banker. This year, it began at sunset on August 10th, and ends at nightfall on August 11th. This day has become known, especially in modern Israel, as the holiday of love. In … Long ago, Tu B'Av was a holiday of dances to celebrate the grape harvest. An intergenerational group could be particularly powerful. Of course, in our collective past, there have been some parts of our experiences of love that we have shared more freely than others. It is a day for enhancing current relationships or defining anew what you are looking for in a partner. At the end of your ritual or during your meal, or as a separate project, you may want to collect tzedakah (money for justice) for women who cannot obtain the privileges of marriage. August 5, 2020. Let us remember how the people Israel emerged from the harsh wilderness into a land flowing with milk and honey. Go on a date night with your love. Blessed are You, Eternal One, our God, Ruler of Time and Space, the Transforming One. She can then invite someone to read the following. Your eyes from shedding tears; According to Jewish tradition, on Tisha B’Av, the 9 th of the month of Av, G-d decreed that the Israelites would wander the desert for 40 years until the generation who knew slavery in Mitzrayim died out. Agunot, women who are bound by religious marriage contracts to ex-husbands who refuse to grant them gets (Jewish bills of divorce), are also denied the right to marry. to those who transition/transform/cross over. Al elleh ani bokhiyah When the last person has spoken everyone joins together and loudly proclaims: Celebratory dancing and a festive meal can follow. The facilitator can explain that this lying down is a symbolic re-enactment of the mystical vision of the Israelites who lay in the sand of the desert and shed all that was keeping them from being fully alive, every night, in order to rise whole and pure and ready to move forward. A Promised Land. Tu BiShvat: Customs and Rituals Tu BiShvat, the "New Year of the Trees," is observed on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Sh’vat. | Tu B'Av. Violence: The Reaction and the Lesson. Contact the Center for Women in Jewish Law www.schechter.edu/women/law.htm to learn about agunot in Israel, or look for information on the website of the International Jewish Women's Human Rights Watch: www.icjw.org.uk. Today, Tu B’Av is considered the Jewish Day of Love, similar to Valentine’s Day. */, By Rabbi Tamara Cohen and Rabbi Jill Hammer, Lament of the Twelve Sisters: A Tisha b’Av Story, This ritual is intended for a group of friends, a women's group or a. a small item that symbolizes something they would like to bury from their experiences with love over the past year. Rituals Kristin Posner July 18, 2018 tu b'av, jewish valentine's day, tisha b'av, month of av, jewish calendar, loving day, date night ideas, jewish date, jewish holiday … We two More Holidays. We slip down the path in the grass like the beak of a hummingbird into the neck of a flower. Tu B'Av is also celebrated at the end of the Israelites' forty years of wandering in the wilderness. She will indicate that she is done by putting her giveaway object into the basket, and her burial object into the planting pot. ). "the ninth of Av") is an annual fast day in Judaism, on which a number of disasters in Jewish history occurred, primarily the destruction of both Solomon's Temple by the Neo-Babylonian Empire and the Second Temple by … Tu B'Av is an unlikely day of joy, coming as it does in a season of sadness. In its essence, Tu B'Av is a hinge between the time of mourning and the time of gladness, between the pathos of reaping and the celebration of harvest. The idea behind the ritual is that each year every one of us, regardless of where we are in our lives, experiences ups and down in our loving relationships. Tu B'Av marks an informal "high" to counter the "low" of The Three Weeks leading up to Tisha B'Av. Let us celebrate together the many possibilities for love in our lives.". Many transgender and genderqueer folks search for ourselves for many years, hoping one day to find a place in our bodies, in our lives and in this world where we are free to live a life gendered with all of its opportunities & promise. Author Amy Gottlieb will interview Haviva about the book. This can include anything from the death of loved ones, to break-ups, to changing relationships with parents, children, friends, one's own body and sexuality. I will praise G-d with my life” (Psalm 146). She then reads aloud the verse from Jeremiah and rouses the next woman, and so on. A basket or designated space for the donated clothing, paper and pencils (and something hard to lean on for writing), copies of the verses from Lamentations and Jeremiah for all participants, The facilitator thanks the group for coming and explains that the ritual has two basic parts, as it begins with mourning and moves toward dancing and celebration. The facilitator can explain that there is a tradition that explains Tu B'Av as a holiday during which we lay our griefs and fears into the earth, burying them as discarded parts of ourselves, or, perhaps, planting them in order to transform them into new sources of life. Now that your symbolic rebirth is complete and your friends, family and community clothe you in the finery of their love and support, it is time to give thanks to the Holy One who Transforms. Author Amy Gottlieb will interview Haviva about the book. Originally a post-biblical day of joy, it served as a matchmaking day for unmarried women in the Second Temple period (before the fall of Jerusalem in 70 C.E. my eyes, my eyes flow with water We are living in an era in which our possibilities for expressing love are perhaps wider than ever – thanks to the women's movement, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender movement, and modern science and technology. Tu B’Av is a little-known Jewish holiday, coming just six days after the mournful commemoration of tragedy during Tisha B’Av.In ancient times, Tu B’Av was a joyous matchmaking holiday for unmarried young women; in our day, it’s observed as a more general day of love. Invite your participants to take action to promote justice for women in relationships. V'yatzat bimkhol m'sakhakim, "Restrain your voice from weeping, Tu Bi'Shevat Originally just the day when trees were considered a year older, relevant in the ancient world for tithing purposes—Tu Bi’Shevat was transformed by the kabbalists of Safed into a celebration of nature, its fruits, and the Divine "tree" reaching toward us. Meyshiv nafshi, "For these things do I weep, It promises to be an eye-opening and uplifting discussion. Please join me in singing. To indicate that group has heard and accepted the words and gifts of the participant who has just spoken, the entire group should recite the verse from Lamentations between each participant's turn. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. Indeed, it was the experience of breaking these silences and sharing fuller truths about love and sexuality that made the early years of the feminist movement so profoundly life-altering for many. a piece of clothing, jewelry, or scarf that they have but no longer wear. Tu B’Av, the 15 th of Av, has come to be known as the Jewish Day of Love in modern-day Israel. We too can address inequity by contributing to those working to extend the privilege of marriage to all women and men who want to enter legally sanctioned unions. Tu B’Av, the full moon and fifteenth day of the Hebrew month of Av, was the grape harvest in ancient Israel. The, At the end of your ritual or during your meal, or as a separate project, you may want to collect, We too can address inequity by contributing to those working to extend the privilege of marriage to all women and men who want to enter legally sanctioned unions. Tu B’, the 15th Day of Av, is both an ancient and modern holiday. She may want to ask the group to agree on respecting the confidentiality of anything shared during the evening. It promises to be an eye-opening and uplifting discussion. This ritual may be performed in solitude or with a group. In modern Israel it has become a holiday of love, somewhat similar to Valentine's Day. 2, 2004; Tu B’Av at a Retreat Center in Upstate New York. The dead do not praise G-d, nor do those who go down into silence. One of the best-known wedding customs is the breaking of a glass during the chuppah. Women would go out to the fields to dance, wearing white clothing borrowed from someone else so that no one would feel poor. Eyni eyni yorda mayim On Tu b’Av, the twelve ancestor-sisters gather to dance. Modern Jewish Holidays 101. On the eve of the 9, Eternal One, my G-d, I cried out to You, and you healed me. Invite your participants to take action to promote justice for women in relationships. Yesterday marked Tu B’Av, the 15th day of the month of Av, a minor Jewish holiday that Wikipedia tells me has become a Jewish equivalent to Valentine’s Day, in that it is an auspicious day for holding weddings and perhaps meeting a romantic partner. If the leader is not comfortable with this, in the appropriate places, s/he might like to use “their” or “themselves” instead. Tu B’Av marks an informal “high” to counter the “low” of The Three Weeks leading up to Tisha B’Av. The moon has recently become new, and therefore our Jewish calendar has just transitioned to the month of Av Register here. The 15th of Av is undoubtedly a most mysterious day. The Jewish mini-holiday of Tu B’Av. 2020-08-05. Tonight we will use her words as our refrain in this first section of our ritual. The facilitator can then tap the shoulder of another and help her up. This can be lead by either a transgender or non-transgender ritual leader, but has been written with inclusive pronouns such as “ours” or “ourselves” in the hopes that this linguistic move will not “other” the transitioning individual(s). For a suggested reading, see the poem “Girl In a Bottle” by Joy Ladin in her book. #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } Tu B’Av comes on the heels of Tisha B’Av, a day of mourning for many tragedies in Jewish history, including the destruction of the Temples. As we watch with despair the news from Israel/Palestine, we invite you to join us for an event that will offer some hope. Some Tu B’Av-specific ideas include: A moonlit stroll, visiting a … #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } Green leaves of a tree with two trunks fly like flags above us. Tu b'Av Date in the current year: July 24, 2021 Tu b'Av is a minor Jewish holiday celebrated on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Av. It is a day for romance, explored through singing, dancing, giving flowers, and studying. She will indicate that she is done by putting her giveaway object into the basket, and her burial object into the planting pot. Tu BiShvat's Origins. Join us on Thursday May 20th for a talk with Rabbi Haviva Ner-David about her debut novel, Hope Valley, which offers hope for a real and lasting peace in the region, through human connection. A Tu B’Av Ritual of Sacred Sexuality on Zoom, Sun 2 Aug 2020 - In ancient Israel, the grape harvest began on Tu b’Av. The leader then invites everyone to select a garment, scarf or piece of jewelry from the basket. Today we remember those who did not make it to the Promised Land and symbolically we reenact your rebirth, (Transitioning Individual(s)). Tu B'Av is an unlikely day of joy, coming as it does in a season of sadness. V'einayikh middim'ah Tu B’Av is a great day for weddings, commitment ceremonies, renewal of vows, or proposing. It may be particularly powerful to invite someone who has served as a trans guide or mentor for the individual. To find out more, call the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance (JOFA) at (212) 752-7133 and buy an Agunah Solidarity Pin, or ask for a recent newsletter in which they list a number of organizations working to free agunot. Join us on Thursday May 20th for a talk with Rabbi Haviva Ner-David about her debut novel, Hope Valley, which offers hope for a real and lasting peace in the region, through human connection. Tu B’Av [the 15th day of the month of Av] is generally known as the Jewish “Sadie Hawkins Day.” It is a time when matchmakers are busy applying their trade. Register here. Tu B'Av's history includes matchmaking, dancing, and the celebration of the promise of new life and hope after fear and grief. (Psalm 30). The facilitator explains that each participant will now take a turn to share her writing, word or phrase. Throughout much of Jewish history, Tu B’Av, a rabbinic holiday,was not well known and became more popular upon the establishment of the State of Israel. In its essence, Tu B'Av is a hinge between the time of mourning and the time of gladness, between the pathos of reaping and the celebration of harvest. Yet, none of this necessarily makes love any easier. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. Participants should be told at the beginning of the exercise that they will be given the opportunity to share what they write, to share part of it, or to keep it private. There are organizations in North America and Israel working to give these women the freedom to remarry and carry on with their lives. The moon burns like a frame drum struck by fire. Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! In its essence, Tu B’Av is a hinge between the time of mourning and the time of gladness, between the pathos of reaping and the celebration of harvest. On Tu B’Av they returned and were again able to participate fully in all the rituals and Torah study of their people. The facilitator should keep track of the time and warn participants when they have two minutes left. The facilitator can invite everyone to symbolically and/or physically shake off all they are ready to shed. Tu B’Av is an unlikely day of joy, coming as it does in a season of sadness. She presents, in her own words, some of the ideas expressed above about the purpose of this, עַל-אֵלֶּה אֲנִי בוֹכִיָּה, עֵינִי עֵינִי יֹרְדָה מַּיִם--כִּי-רָחַק מִמֶּנִּי מְנַחֵם, מֵשִׁיב נַפְשִׁי, The facilitator explains that each participant will now take a turn to share her writing, word or phrase.